How about a classic Pirate Tale!
A sailor come back into his favoriate port of call, and walks right back into his favoriate tavern where's he been 86'd many times before... he smiles and the bartender says" hey mate, it's been a long time since we've seen you!......"yes says the sailor, I had a hard life at sea recently... very exciting though"...... and the bartender says... yes I can see that, with that pegleg,
a hook for a right hand and a patch over your right eye... so what happened?....the patrons of the tavern all start to look and stare and listen...."well says the sailor, I'll tell ya if ya gives me a free beer"... the cheap bartender has to since everyone is watching... the sailor says I was trying to get a big whale aboard ship(which is historically accurate)... and a shark came up along side the
boat and bit my leg clear off at the knee!....oh no says everyone.... and some time passed and the bartender asks what happened to your right hand?..the sailor says for a free rum I'll tell ya mate!...The sailor says...he was fighting a duel for a fine lookin' wench... and the bastard I was fighting with cut me hand
off clear at the wrist!..but the wench was worth it....(I added that in).....arghhh says the whole crowd at the tavern.... and finally... the bartender says, what a terrible story... so what happened to your eye? ..and the sailor says... for a free whiskey I tell ya..(notice my theme?)... and the sailor says... I was looking up at the clouds over head aboard ship..and it was my first day with me new hook..and just then a seagull crapped in my eye......

Ask for the World as A Pyrate and Accept the Rum, politely.

professional writing

Robert Johnson, Eric Clapton,Nellie, Neil Young, Incubus, Pretenders, Stone Temple Pilots, Seether, and any good Pirate Song will do! Celtic songs touch the soul

ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.